Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize