There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
