At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
