"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
