Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
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I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
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Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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