"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
