im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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