your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
It's blow job season.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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