She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
