Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
why do cheetos always look like penises
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
