I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
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There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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