I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
