but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
