I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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