Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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