The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
