Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
