I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you bring me the toilet please
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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