I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Randomize
