put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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