You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Randomize
