I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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