dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
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