Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
