carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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