My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
