shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
My dick has a subreddit
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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