Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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