you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
