I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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