We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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