Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
