i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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