This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
