Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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