are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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