she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
