I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
i dont even know how to be here
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
