i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
