From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Randomize