I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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