I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize