I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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