he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
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