So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
