theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
