He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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