someone owes me an orgasm
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I still have a little drunk in my system
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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