Do vagina's smell?
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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