She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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