I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
