No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
