Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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