I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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