Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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