Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
