Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Sober January is a disaster.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
