life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Randomize
