we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
The Olympian is in my bed
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
